Moms Work at Home

Rebel Dad makes an impassioned argument for elevating the way we describe dads who stay at home to be with kids:

So yesterday, I was given another reminder that one of these days I should really start a blogroll for MAWDAHs… moms who go to work and are married to at-home dads. Asha over at ParentHacks.com flagged this post by Mom 101 about her husband. It is a wonderful denunciation of the strange and irritating trend toward referring to male caregivers by female terms (“The Mommy,” “Mr. Mom,” etc.)

I was asked recently what the problem with Mr. Mom is, and Mom 101 nails a good chunk of it. Here is my take on why it’s a problem:

• It is unfair to women to “mom”ify the job. Calling a guy “Mr. Mom,” implies mom *should* be the one behind the stroller. That ought to be pretty offensive nowadays.

• It emphasizes the novelty of at-home fatherhood. A dad at the playground shouldn’t be treated with any more surprise that a female surgeon in the operating room. Why should “Hey – that kid’s caretaker is a *man*!” be any less offensive than “Hey – that doctor/lawyer/exec is a *woman*!”?

• It glosses over the different skills that mothers and fathers bring to the table. Kyle Pruett at Yale has made a career of noting that men and women generally parent differently, and that kids are best served by both styles of play. Suggesting that a dad is “mothering” shortchanges dads by ignoring the unique advantages of what Pruett calls “Fatherneed.” (And it shortchanges moms by suggesting that dads can provide traits that are generally unique to moms.)

• It reminds everyone of Jack Butler, Michael Keaton’s character in Mr. Mom. I know that the movie comes to a sweet end, where Jack becomes a good dad, etc. etc. But it is remembered in the collective unconscious as a movie about a do-nothing father who can’t iron and who drinks beer in the morning. I could do without those images being attached to dads taking care of their kids.

Read articles on how to be great dad. Single parenting tips and information for stay at home dads.

Related Blogs

• Is Teaching English in China Really for You?
• Much Importance Should Be Given To The Accent And Pronunciations …
• Rocket Spanish ? Spanish Learning Help
• Dr. Kyle Pruett Part I. Early Childhood Development
• Types of Black Greeting Cards « Get the Look
• Most parents don't realize their 4 or 5 year-olds are overweight …
• Geena Davis & Michael Keaton Want 'Beetlejuice 2′ But Do You?
• Art I LOVE – Jack Butler Yeats « Echostains Blog
• Migrant workers in Canada a focus of pre-G20 proceedings in …
• The Birth of a New Sibling – What to Do? « The Goddard School®
• Happy Father's Day: The Evolution of the Role of Fathers
• Learn…Playfully!
• The Symbols of Play
• Prepare for Summer Fun
• Play and Learning
• Thumb-Sucking & Pacifiers
• Setting Limits: Rules & Punishment « The Goddard School®
• Mom and Dad are Different: The Critical Role of Fathers « The …
• Kamran Pasha's Blog » Blog Archive » Lifting the Veil on the …
• The Male Caregiver – a Different Approach to Caregiving